Christ, what is wrong with me?

[ysobelle]

Not only did I just call out of work so I can huddle in my bed and hack up my lungs alone, not only have I convinced myself that C will never call again (and if he does, I may set him on fire, but that's another post), but I have Stevie Nicks' "Has Anyone Ever Written Anything For you?" on endless repeat in my head.

Part of it has to be the fact that I've been without sunlight for weeks now. My SAD has been mostly under control the last few years, but I think this is an extraordinary circumstance: two weeks in rainy England, including several days in a dark hotel room. Times like these, I'd make a terrible vampire.

I am sad about C. I emailed him a few times whilst in England-- finally got a distracted, one-line response. Called him Tuesday when I got home. No answer-- left voicemail. Nothing. Called again last night to wish him good luck with a huge, very important show tonight-- no answer. No return. Major things are going on for him right now, and I have to keep reminding myself that I gather he's holding on with his fingertips. Still. At the moment? I'm sad, I'm sick, and I feel very, very alone.

And there aren't enough scarves in the world to make this phantom Stevie shut up.

Comments

[thorn]

{{ much hugs }}

You have lots of friends and you are not alone. I'm sure the Sick of Moltar is just making things worse, too. A lot of people seem to have this plague, including autumnyte (and myself, but only a bit). Please get as much sleep and rest as possible so you can beat this thing.

*sends love and chicken soup*

[snugglyevil.livejournal.com]

I'm heading down to Longwood Gardens this afternoon to meet up with Danorsong and John. Could always pop some tylenol or something and come out to meet us. 1:30-2pm-ish It's orchid extravaganza time. :) Call me. I have to go to the dealership this morning (I know I know) and then will head down after that.

C is a stupid boy. Too much going on in his life and no internal tools to process it all.

I have chicken soup! Homemade! Hell, even Manischewitz noodles in it!

[radiofreerlyeh.livejournal.com]

England can definitely do that folks. And fire is overrated on people. I suggest honey and mound of fire ants, allows you to extend your pleasure...from a safe distance.
As Tim said, you aren't alone. If there is anything I can do, let me know. HUGS
Recovering myself from a sick I picked up at Arisia, and the weather isn't helping on that front. Will be great to see you in a few weeks.

[elionwyr.livejournal.com]

I sorta resonate. I feel like a completely different person having gotten a bit of sun and spring-like temperatures...the fact that it's not 22 and snowing (as was threatened) feels like the best present ever.

My brain music has mostly been "Get It Up" by The Time.
Well. At least it's amusing.

I wish I could help, honey.
Loving from a distance!

[johnbroadfoot.livejournal.com]

Don't make me send you another butterfly-fetti-bomb!

[hederaivy.livejournal.com]

It's pretty normal to experience post-vacation depression and it sounds like yours is being exacerbated by being sick and also slightly lovesick. I'll give you my advice, because that's the kind of person I am. Feel free to ignore it at will.
1) If you have an Ott lite or Daylite that you use when you're sewing, go sit under it and read or something for a couple of hours. If you don't have one, go get one- mark it down as a business expense if you must, but get one.
2)put on a lively cd. If you don't have any lively cds in your collection, I suggest looking up Sophie Ellis Bextor on youtube and listening to Murder on the Dancefloor and I'll Get over You.
You need something to drown stevie out for a while.
Anything by Within Temptation's The Silent Force would probably work, too.
3)start planning for a return trip to London right now. Figure out when you will have time available, then work up a budget and figure out how much you'll have to put away each [insert time period of choice] to pay for it. Having a concrete goal of the next vacation to work towards does a lot to help disperse post-holiday gloom.
4)go with the chicken soup suggestions from the rest of these comments. Add lots of garlic (since you're not a vampire yet). If you don't have a recipe you like, let me know and I'll send you mine, which is fairly quick, easy and tastes wonderful.
5)Brush the dog for a while. It will help boost your endorphin level.
As for C, there's not much you can do but wait. Only you can decide if a possible relationship with him is worth waiting for while he sorts himself out.

[delynfirebrand.livejournal.com]

I would like to second hederaivy... Get a natural-light style lamp if you don't have one yet. After a couple of overcast days, those things can be a huge boost to the mood.

I have no other useful advice, but I offer forth an alternative earworm, that is bouncy and kind of cheerful sounding:
Lenka's "The Show" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2nTSU-mFWGs (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2nTSU-mFWGs)