Christ, what is wrong with me?
Jan. 24th, 2009 08:59 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ysobelleNot only did I just call out of work so I can huddle in my bed and hack up my lungs alone, not only have I convinced myself that C will never call again (and if he does, I may set him on fire, but that's another post), but I have Stevie Nicks' "Has Anyone Ever Written Anything For you?" on endless repeat in my head.
Part of it has to be the fact that I've been without sunlight for weeks now. My SAD has been mostly under control the last few years, but I think this is an extraordinary circumstance: two weeks in rainy England, including several days in a dark hotel room. Times like these, I'd make a terrible vampire.
I am sad about C. I emailed him a few times whilst in England-- finally got a distracted, one-line response. Called him Tuesday when I got home. No answer-- left voicemail. Nothing. Called again last night to wish him good luck with a huge, very important show tonight-- no answer. No return. Major things are going on for him right now, and I have to keep reminding myself that I gather he's holding on with his fingertips. Still. At the moment? I'm sad, I'm sick, and I feel very, very alone.
And there aren't enough scarves in the world to make this phantom Stevie shut up.
Part of it has to be the fact that I've been without sunlight for weeks now. My SAD has been mostly under control the last few years, but I think this is an extraordinary circumstance: two weeks in rainy England, including several days in a dark hotel room. Times like these, I'd make a terrible vampire.
I am sad about C. I emailed him a few times whilst in England-- finally got a distracted, one-line response. Called him Tuesday when I got home. No answer-- left voicemail. Nothing. Called again last night to wish him good luck with a huge, very important show tonight-- no answer. No return. Major things are going on for him right now, and I have to keep reminding myself that I gather he's holding on with his fingertips. Still. At the moment? I'm sad, I'm sick, and I feel very, very alone.
And there aren't enough scarves in the world to make this phantom Stevie shut up.