Thud.

[ysobelle]

Finally figured it out.

That $125? Casey's half-bodice. Sorry, Surlz, that $25 actually was mine.


As for faire....

I need some distance from this year to process it all. My business is definitely growing, and I need better organisation in a desperate way. I have a few ideas, though. So all is well. Or...it will be.

The drive home was awful. I resorted to biting my fingers to stay awake. My tent is damp-- precisely what I didn't want-- but it's DOWN. I'll somehow dry out the canvas here. Somehow. I fell asleep and didn't wake up til after midnight-- and then started trying to sort through the mess of paperwork I'll have to further straighten over the next few weeks.

Again, I've been warned to watch my back, and heard what people are saying there. Sometimes, I thoroughly hate people. I'm apparently too "passive-aggressive." No, you idiots, I'm diplomatic and attempting to be sane. And in this case, I'm not hysterical and I'm not overreacting to petty malice. If I did what it seems some people want me to do, what begins with one pathological liar causing trouble ends with an enormous, overblown blowout that makes everyone angry and looking bad. Jesus Christ. I'm really understanding Guild burnout about now.

I took a bath on the Funky Formal. Lost several hundred. I might make it up next year if I'm diligent. But it seemed like those who attended had a genuinely good time, and for that, I'm incredibly grateful. I also discovered that the Eden will make pizza right there, so that's the path for next year.


Everyone was tired and cranky by the end of the year. I know that. But fuck all, I just...some days, I want to carry a big sign that says, "No, actually, it's not my fault. Sorry, bucko." Some days, it'd be nice to be appreciated for what I do, not castigated for what I do not and cannot do. I know I'm tired, and that always brings my mood down, but G-d. I'm tired of going to bed every night wondering whose drama and bull I'm going to have to deal with tomorrow. I'm tired of picking up the phone and wondering who's going to attempt to berate me next. I am THOROUGHLY tired of having to watch my back. I keep wanting to find somewhere where I don't have to do that, and I'm angry to have to acknowledge that faire ain't it.

I'm tired of fighting upstream by myself. I swear this has been the loneliest, most isolated year of my life.

I'm just tired.

Comments

[dansr.livejournal.com]

HUGS I love you.

[ysobelle.livejournal.com]

And I, thee. Call me when you have time. I've been thinking of you a lot.

[dansr.livejournal.com]

P'raps tomorrow eve after I'm done teaching.

Love you!

[cypherindigo.livejournal.com]

Dear,

You are wonderful. You work thought the most appalling crap with grace, dignity and a smile on your face. I admire you greatly.

Hugs - M

[ysobelle.livejournal.com]

Thank you so, so much!

[snugglyevil.livejournal.com]

1. I've got some ideas to add that might help with the paper organization and whatnot.

2. Guild burn out....I haz it. I stopped wearing a pin about 7yrs ago. The self importance, narcissistic, drama stirring, and general ignorance kill me. It was created out of FUN. People in it become drama llamas that try to overshadow the good times. HEY! Where'd this soapbox come from? heehee Sorry

3. I will attempt to find someone highly proficient in Latin in the SCA to help make a "Bucko" sign for you. heh

4. You know I am ready to be your "pit bull" if need be. Faults and all...you do rock. I'm certainly not perfect and you still like me...yes? *bats eyelashes*

It will all work out.

[ysobelle.livejournal.com]

You don't know how much it means to me to have someone I KNOW I can trust. Thank you. And I'm not leaving the Guild. I worked too fucking hard to build this Local. I'm just shifting my energies around a little.

Your icon will now make me cry, however.

[sterling2905.livejournal.com]

I give you super big hugs at way too early an hour tomorrow.
LOVE YOU!!!!!

[ysobelle.livejournal.com]

Having fun?

[optimistprime.livejournal.com]

::Hugs:: It really sounds like you need some "hide from the world Nikki alone" time. I will tell you that it is okay to turn off the phone and not check your e-mail. It is also okay to say "your problem, not mine... move along" when you need to. You have to put yourself first.

If you ever want a safe venting place look me up. Not only am I clueless about stuff (especially PARF stuff), I've been away from it for so long the drama just doesn't matter! (and I'm a good listener) :)

Take care of you...

[ysobelle.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much. You completely rock.

[silverstah.livejournal.com]

*big huge hugs*

Sweetie, if you EVER need to talk, vent, bounce ideas off of someone, or WHATEVER, please drop me a line. I know what you're going through (well, at least business-wise). I know the emotional stress that this sort of work puts you through. I will *gladly* be a sounding board - because I know that helped ME when times were rough.

Don't let the politics and nay-sayers get you down. Your work is beautiful, you make people feel beautiful, and that rises above petty politics on the faire circuit. This is awful, tough, demanding work - but somehow it all seems worth it when you see that smile on a woman's face when she looks in the mirror and feels truly beautiful. YOU bring that smile with your art. It's a gift. Don't forget that, amidst all the stress of the business side of things.

*love*

[morriganswitch.livejournal.com]

This was BEAUTIFULLY PUT. It wasn't directed at me, and I feel all warm and squishy. :)

[silverstah.livejournal.com]

Aw, thanks. :)

[morriganswitch.livejournal.com]

No problem!

[ysobelle.livejournal.com]

You're so awesome. And you've been one of my biggest inspirations, you know.

And you're absolutely right-- lacing someone up for the first time into her very own corset is just a wonderful thing. I had someone tell me Sunday night that the corset I made her this year to replace one she bought last year-- which I lost, dammit, when it was in for repairs-- felt even better. Granted, the last one wasn't custom, but she was so happy. That's worth a lot. If I could just get organised enough....

[freyas-fire.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry I didn't make it to Funky Formal this year, love - by the time I got back to our sleeping tent on Sunday, I had a massive headache that basically said, "YOU - LAY DOWN AND SLEEP. NOW." At least the other Elemental girls had fun.
It really was a strange year. So much drama, bickering, rumors, and, well, shitty behavior that should have been left behind in high school. Hopefully next year will be better. And there's always Wicked in February.
And SUSHI....soon. Much easier now that Faire is over. And come visit me at Linvilla once in a while!

[ysobelle.livejournal.com]

What's Linvilla? And yes, yes, yes-- sushi! HUZZAH! When works for you, snooks?

And I'm sorry you missed it, too-- but if I could have gotten some sleep beforehand, oh, I would have. I was sooo tired. And I can't leave the FF until everyone else does. Including the DJ.

[freyas-fire.livejournal.com]

Linvilla Orchards, in Media, down on Knowlton Road. Big farmer's market with great local produce, hay rides, and lots of other goodies. :)
http://www.linvilla.com

[ysobelle.livejournal.com]

A farmer's market?! Oh, YES! Name the day!

[freyas-fire.livejournal.com]

I'm usually there tuesday thru Friday, 10-6. :)

Note the Icon.

[morriganswitch.livejournal.com]

Okay. I ''get" that there is drama in the world. But why do Llamas have to bring it to everyone else, instead of just keeping it to their Llama phone tree?

"Watch Your Back?" Seriously? WTF?

I've had a temper issue lately, I'd be happy to take out any lingering physical effects of said Temper malfunctions on any person attempting to slander, or harm you.

Re: Note the Icon.

[ysobelle.livejournal.com]

It's not the first time I've heard it. And about the same people.

Christ, I'm tired. I was watching the planes taxi out today, and I almost cried. I can't WAIT to get away.

Re: Note the Icon.

[freyas-fire.livejournal.com]

You have NO idea how badly I wanted to stow away in one of the trailers headed to NOLA or Florida.......it's going to be weird not travelling to Faire this weekend. Despite all the drama and petty nonsense, there are still quite a few people that make it all worthwhile.

[sheraqaw.livejournal.com]

Hugs, baby. I'm here for you. But you already knew that. 'nuff said.

[ysobelle.livejournal.com]

Thank you SO much for everything. You rock.

[sjbpharmd.livejournal.com]

Just a few things during your de-compress....

1. I am AMAZING at organization. I can help you in the off-season if you need some help/ ideas.

2. I have a big back yard now that can assist in drying big canvass tents :)

3. While I am not sure what happened or why things got so dramatic at the end of season...I wanted to say that I am proud of you. You have done an amazing job with your business and I hope it only continues to grow.

4. And like everyone else...I am here to vent to if you need. Dinner sometime soon?

[ysobelle.livejournal.com]

I am absolutely desperate for some organisation right now-- everything from the booth-- including the booth!-- came back last night, and now I can't walk in my apartment again.

And yes. Dinner. When's good for you?

[pngwn.livejournal.com]

You know I will help you organize a bit-- I have had to do it with my business.

I was looking for a drama free year to. I wanted to enjoy it. Instead I get dragged into stuff, and then i have to figure out how. Then I have to figure out who I can trust now. So I am right there with you. Sigh.

I crashed at funky. Between the hand and just worn out, I crashed. Next year funky, it'll happen.

So call me. Let's get together. I miss my friend.