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ysobelleFinally figured it out.
That $125? Casey's half-bodice. Sorry, Surlz, that $25 actually was mine.
As for faire....
I need some distance from this year to process it all. My business is definitely growing, and I need better organisation in a desperate way. I have a few ideas, though. So all is well. Or...it will be.
The drive home was awful. I resorted to biting my fingers to stay awake. My tent is damp-- precisely what I didn't want-- but it's DOWN. I'll somehow dry out the canvas here. Somehow. I fell asleep and didn't wake up til after midnight-- and then started trying to sort through the mess of paperwork I'll have to further straighten over the next few weeks.
Again, I've been warned to watch my back, and heard what people are saying there. Sometimes, I thoroughly hate people. I'm apparently too "passive-aggressive." No, you idiots, I'm diplomatic and attempting to be sane. And in this case, I'm not hysterical and I'm not overreacting to petty malice. If I did what it seems some people want me to do, what begins with one pathological liar causing trouble ends with an enormous, overblown blowout that makes everyone angry and looking bad. Jesus Christ. I'm really understanding Guild burnout about now.
I took a bath on the Funky Formal. Lost several hundred. I might make it up next year if I'm diligent. But it seemed like those who attended had a genuinely good time, and for that, I'm incredibly grateful. I also discovered that the Eden will make pizza right there, so that's the path for next year.
Everyone was tired and cranky by the end of the year. I know that. But fuck all, I just...some days, I want to carry a big sign that says, "No, actually, it's not my fault. Sorry, bucko." Some days, it'd be nice to be appreciated for what I do, not castigated for what I do not and cannot do. I know I'm tired, and that always brings my mood down, but G-d. I'm tired of going to bed every night wondering whose drama and bull I'm going to have to deal with tomorrow. I'm tired of picking up the phone and wondering who's going to attempt to berate me next. I am THOROUGHLY tired of having to watch my back. I keep wanting to find somewhere where I don't have to do that, and I'm angry to have to acknowledge that faire ain't it.
I'm tired of fighting upstream by myself. I swear this has been the loneliest, most isolated year of my life.
I'm just tired.
That $125? Casey's half-bodice. Sorry, Surlz, that $25 actually was mine.
As for faire....
I need some distance from this year to process it all. My business is definitely growing, and I need better organisation in a desperate way. I have a few ideas, though. So all is well. Or...it will be.
The drive home was awful. I resorted to biting my fingers to stay awake. My tent is damp-- precisely what I didn't want-- but it's DOWN. I'll somehow dry out the canvas here. Somehow. I fell asleep and didn't wake up til after midnight-- and then started trying to sort through the mess of paperwork I'll have to further straighten over the next few weeks.
Again, I've been warned to watch my back, and heard what people are saying there. Sometimes, I thoroughly hate people. I'm apparently too "passive-aggressive." No, you idiots, I'm diplomatic and attempting to be sane. And in this case, I'm not hysterical and I'm not overreacting to petty malice. If I did what it seems some people want me to do, what begins with one pathological liar causing trouble ends with an enormous, overblown blowout that makes everyone angry and looking bad. Jesus Christ. I'm really understanding Guild burnout about now.
I took a bath on the Funky Formal. Lost several hundred. I might make it up next year if I'm diligent. But it seemed like those who attended had a genuinely good time, and for that, I'm incredibly grateful. I also discovered that the Eden will make pizza right there, so that's the path for next year.
Everyone was tired and cranky by the end of the year. I know that. But fuck all, I just...some days, I want to carry a big sign that says, "No, actually, it's not my fault. Sorry, bucko." Some days, it'd be nice to be appreciated for what I do, not castigated for what I do not and cannot do. I know I'm tired, and that always brings my mood down, but G-d. I'm tired of going to bed every night wondering whose drama and bull I'm going to have to deal with tomorrow. I'm tired of picking up the phone and wondering who's going to attempt to berate me next. I am THOROUGHLY tired of having to watch my back. I keep wanting to find somewhere where I don't have to do that, and I'm angry to have to acknowledge that faire ain't it.
I'm tired of fighting upstream by myself. I swear this has been the loneliest, most isolated year of my life.
I'm just tired.