Confused.

[ysobelle]

I just got slammed on one of my lists. Out of the blue. It was so unexpected, I didn't know what the hell to say. Have I just pissed the gods off lately?

Three days ago, an older man in a large car pulled up in front of me as I stood on the sidewalk and said, "Is there parking around here?" As I'd just then parked, I stepped up to his car and pointed to a couple of lots behind me, told him the first one was full, but the others should be good. He thanked me cheerfully, and drove on. Next thing I know, there's the sound of an automotive foghorn, and I look up into the grille of a huge black land yacht. I realise the light's red, and I step back up onto the curb. As I do so, the car speeds past-- there's an older man in a suit driving, and as he passes me, he spits, "Fat bitch!" Amongst other things. I was so shocked, hurt, and amazed I actually think I began to cry. I kid you not. Me.

This morning, I'm coming off 76 West at South Street. I'm at the top of the off-ramp. It's not marked, but it's two lanes there. The car in front has no turn signal on, and he's on the left. I start to pull up, as I'm going to turn right. He starts to move all of a sudden, and I tap my horn to let him know I'm there. The car is apparently full of young men, and one of them leans out of the passenger window to scream at me. At length.

I stopped off at the Grey's Ferry Pathmark on my way home. In the checkout line next to me, a very young woman had a screaming baby on one side, and a rude, older husband/boyfriend on the other. She was on her cell phone, arguing with someone else. After that call, she and her attendant male began to argue about something, sullenly and loudly. There was another small child with them, watching the whole thing, unregarded.

I don't get it. I go out of my way to be polite to people. This is the way I was raised, it's what I happen to think is right. Am I completely altruistic about it? Probably not. I get a nice feeling out of the unexpected smile or even shocked look when I'm polite to strangers. Yeah, making the world nicer one exchange at a time.

But I know I'm fighting a losing battle, and I hate to admit it, but it's really getting me down lately. Do people just not fucking think before they open their mouths or open their browsers? Is there NO sense of community left? Is ANYONE teaching their kids to be nice to strangers just because it's appropriate?

I'm angry. I'm tired of getting hit over the head with other people's bad moods. I don't want to snap at anyone, and I'm enough of a wuss that I probably won't. I'll more likely than not come here to my journal and rant about it, in an orgy of passive-aggressiveness. On the other hand, I'm not blind to the irony of screaming and railing at people about their lack of manners.

Maybe it's just that lately, I'm just tired.

Comments

[skiafoxmorgan.livejournal.com]

oh man.. sorry. People really can be horrid. I'll talk to you later today. huggles.

MWAH!

[pamjb-66.livejournal.com]

Sorry to hear about the nasty people!!! I will tell you that small towns are still nice! I used to live outside of Chicago and have messed around in big cities, so I definitely know what you are saying. Now that I live in West Virginia, I really see another side to people. Poeple around here will stop in the middle of the road to let you walk across! They will wait for you to pull out into the street! Stuff like that. The only time you beep is to wave hello to people. I know that can sound a tad lame to some people, but I really like it. So I just wanted you to know that there are still nice people out there!! The world is not going to hell quite yet!!

Bless their hearts.

[johnbroadfoot.livejournal.com]

I have always disliked big cities for this, amongst other reasons. As Pam said, small towns are nicer as a rule. In the particular small town where I live, the general population can be remarkably stupid, but they make up for it in spades with their one unmistakably redeeming quality, they are polit and even sweet. A fair trade to be sure. I'll see if I cant find my copy of Roy Blunt's book, "Be Sweet" for you to read.
Dont let the bastards get you down luv.

[miscelenaclosed.livejournal.com]

Bah. I'm sorry you ran into so many ridiculous-excuses-for-human-beans all in one day. :/

When stuff like this happens to me, I want to take the tack that my son's soccer coach advocated when they were, oh, about five:

"When they're coming at you," he said, "and you feel like they're bigger and might win the ball, yell something. Anything. Even just a noise: 'Eiiiiiii' or 'ARRRRGh...'"

Later, when they were older, he advocated the absurd, like "Your mother wears plaid" (this one went over *really* well with a bunch of nine year olds!) or "Green eggs and ham!"

Another season, he recommended they prepare something practical-but-devious like "Watch out for that frog!" or "Is that your dog over there?" and most recently, now that they're teens, he suggested something confusingly-personal-but-not-quite-insulting, like "Your feet are on backwards" or "Is that really your own hair?" or "Nice pants!"

Anything to throw off the opponent momentarily.... and make yourself relax/laugh. He had them come up with something in practice, and they were literally rolling on the ground laughing coming up with these things.

This is what we get for having a teen-crisis counselor for a soccer coach: psychological combat techniques on the field. ;)

Anyway... people rarely know what to say in the face of utter absurdity... usually it'll stop 'em long enough for you to get around 'em and keep going... and once they're behind you, gaping like idiots, who cares what they say? ;)

I rarely have the guts to actually *do* it, but sometimes it works even if I just THINK it to myself at the right time... :)

[ocin.livejournal.com]

Now dear, just smile back and say "have a nice day - looks like you need one". It really pisses them off, but keeps you calm.

Don't worry - their bad karma will come back on them three fold.

Intangible wounds of the soul.

[cyber-wolf-2020.livejournal.com]

Unfortunately the basest form of humanity seems to be slowly but surely becoming the majority. I feel for you, having to bear the afflictions of those who probably believe that they are the center of the universe, with no regard for the others whom they have to "share" this existence with. You are not fighting a losing battle. The battle is within yourself, not with the species at large. When you decide it isn't worth it to be nice to the gentleman in the car, then you have started to lose the battle. Many of the people you had interactions with have lost their battles, or just gave up.