How is THIS possible?

I tashte like Alcohol. Heh. Heh. I taste like beer. I like beer. Buy me a beer. I'm not drunk, I can drink plenty without... What was I saying? Beer. What Flavour Are You?

Has no one told The Fates that I don't drink? At all? How did I wind up with this? And being a glass of wine? And having a dog named Kahlua?

I just don't get it.

Well, more for the rest of you, yes?

Confused.

I just got slammed on one of my lists. Out of the blue. It was so unexpected, I didn't know what the hell to say. Have I just pissed the gods off lately?

Three days ago, an older man in a large car pulled up in front of me as I stood on the sidewalk and said, "Is there parking around here?" As I'd just then parked, I stepped up to his car and pointed to a couple of lots behind me, told him the first one was full, but the others should be good. He thanked me cheerfully, and drove on. Next thing I know, there's the sound of an automotive foghorn, and I look up into the grille of a huge black land yacht. I realise the light's red, and I step back up onto the curb. As I do so, the car speeds past-- there's an older man in a suit driving, and as he passes me, he spits, "Fat bitch!" Amongst other things. I was so shocked, hurt, and amazed I actually think I began to cry. I kid you not. Me.

This morning, I'm coming off 76 West at South Street. I'm at the top of the off-ramp. It's not marked, but it's two lanes there. The car in front has no turn signal on, and he's on the left. I start to pull up, as I'm going to turn right. He starts to move all of a sudden, and I tap my horn to let him know I'm there. The car is apparently full of young men, and one of them leans out of the passenger window to scream at me. At length.

I stopped off at the Grey's Ferry Pathmark on my way home. In the checkout line next to me, a very young woman had a screaming baby on one side, and a rude, older husband/boyfriend on the other. She was on her cell phone, arguing with someone else. After that call, she and her attendant male began to argue about something, sullenly and loudly. There was another small child with them, watching the whole thing, unregarded.

I don't get it. I go out of my way to be polite to people. This is the way I was raised, it's what I happen to think is right. Am I completely altruistic about it? Probably not. I get a nice feeling out of the unexpected smile or even shocked look when I'm polite to strangers. Yeah, making the world nicer one exchange at a time.

But I know I'm fighting a losing battle, and I hate to admit it, but it's really getting me down lately. Do people just not fucking think before they open their mouths or open their browsers? Is there NO sense of community left? Is ANYONE teaching their kids to be nice to strangers just because it's appropriate?

I'm angry. I'm tired of getting hit over the head with other people's bad moods. I don't want to snap at anyone, and I'm enough of a wuss that I probably won't. I'll more likely than not come here to my journal and rant about it, in an orgy of passive-aggressiveness. On the other hand, I'm not blind to the irony of screaming and railing at people about their lack of manners.

Maybe it's just that lately, I'm just tired.