"I'm Just A Sorrow Expert Now."
Nov. 17th, 2004 12:21 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ysobelle"I'm just a sorrow expert now
The more I love the more I drown
And the saddest part is I loved what's ours
And that's when I give more"
I've been quite good, lately. Go, me! Sometimes, though...I just get angry. When I was in college, I'd throw things. Glass made the prettiest sound smashing against my wall. I always felt it coming-- that moment before I put out my hand to find something, anything. The cognitive split in my brain between wanting to destroy something, and not wanting to destroy anything valuable or irreplaceable. I haven't done that in a very long time. Though...now I think on't, there's a dent in the wall over my bed from a cup I launched in a particularly pissed-off moment. Same shit, different day.
And it's been even longer since I slapped anyone. Hm. I'd say that's a good thing, I suppose. Despite my inner suspicion that some people desperately need it.
Having stepped over the line, it's time for bed.
The more I love the more I drown
And the saddest part is I loved what's ours
And that's when I give more"
I've been quite good, lately. Go, me! Sometimes, though...I just get angry. When I was in college, I'd throw things. Glass made the prettiest sound smashing against my wall. I always felt it coming-- that moment before I put out my hand to find something, anything. The cognitive split in my brain between wanting to destroy something, and not wanting to destroy anything valuable or irreplaceable. I haven't done that in a very long time. Though...now I think on't, there's a dent in the wall over my bed from a cup I launched in a particularly pissed-off moment. Same shit, different day.
And it's been even longer since I slapped anyone. Hm. I'd say that's a good thing, I suppose. Despite my inner suspicion that some people desperately need it.
Having stepped over the line, it's time for bed.
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no subject
Date: 2004-11-17 06:51 am (UTC)The silvery tinkle of glass shattering and then meeting the carpet.
Once I lost it completely and threw every object that was on my bathroom sink...
at my ex-husband.
But I loved having cheap tchotchke around that I would throw at the wall to hear that satisfying shatter.
and how my mood broke with it...
no subject
Date: 2004-11-17 01:14 pm (UTC)I'm serious. It's not AS satisfying as the real thing (although I never did actually hurl things at that wall, but it'd have been perfect for it), but it helps.