A great, swirling cocktail of brain chemicals.

[ysobelle]

I find myself a somewhat unsettling mixture of confusion, anticipation, cautious optimism...and fear. It's been so incredibly long since I started a new relationship with anyone I find I'm unable to figure out what to say, when to say it, or how to feel. While I'm normally quite the outgoing, talkative soul, there are some things that I find I Simply Do Not Talk About. Many things I keep hidden and protected. And now that it's time to say, "This is what I think, this is how I feel, this is what I want," I can't even completely form the thoughts, much less articulate them.

The self-preservational habits of decades are exhaustingly difficult to dismantle.

Comments

[sjbpharmd.livejournal.com]

Congrats on the budding relationship!

As for your walls of protection, dont worry. Take it slow and say what you are comfortable saying. There is no reason to rush a good thing.

When you are ready to open up about things, you will. And until then, he will understand.

S

[scarletwildfire.livejournal.com]

yay for trying! :D

[ysobelle.livejournal.com]

Everything is skewed, however, by the artificial pacing of the dreaded LDR. And by two people who don't know each other very well yet.

It'll be very different after Christmas. Then we'll see.



Also-- Saturday?

[ysobelle.livejournal.com]

Exactly. Nothing ventured, as they say. And as you well know, yourself!