You just can't make this shit up.

[ysobelle]

I just got this email in my in-box. I kid you not. Now, I'm perfectly willing to accept that this may simply be a new form of slealth spam, and this "Dirty Old Man" may be in Nigeria. However, if you Google Ysobelle, I'm usually the first hit that comes up-- but there's also a little girl in Wales, a talking Budgie, and, more relevantly, a Filipina stripper. I'm going to guess this gentleman was going for the last of these.

Normally, I would simply take pity on him and delete the email. But the more I read this, the sleazier and skeevier it sounds. So, once I sent him a firmly worded correction, and thought about just how stupid you have to be to send an email like this to THE WRONG ADDRESS, I figured hey, I might as well share the comic relief.

Enjoy.





Hi Ysobelle,
I read your e-mail with the new suggestion earlier today and am considering it very hard. It still leaves me with one problem: being able to afford to buy dances from the other ladies in the club when I come in to see you.

I think that you know that I would like to get to know you better outside of the club environment (a dinner, a movie, a play, whatever). So far you have skillfully avoided this.

Since I have had no luck in going out with you, let me offer another suggestion for you to seriously consider: inviting me over and posing for me.

To me this suggestion has two advantages: one for you and one for me.

Since the modeling would not take place in the club, every cent you receive will go into your pocket. In fact since I could decide when I could afford to come back to the club, I would even be willing to increase the modeling fee some - borrowing against my credit card.

Also, since we would not be in the club, I would not have to set aside additional funds to buy dances from the other ladies. That money could go into your modeling fee. I would just be absent until I could afford to return. Only you would ever understand why.

I hope that by now you have learned enough about me to know that if I give you my word, I will keep it. I give you my word that if you do pose, I will allow only you to see them. And, I will tell no one!

I am seriously considering your suggestion very, very seriously and looking at my finances to see when I could act on it.

I hope that you will seriously consider my suggestion and the advantages it has as well. You are just too good looking and sexy to not have some photos taken, even if they are only for my private (very private) collection. Please think about it.

Take care,
That Dirty Old Man
(Also known as ____)

Comments

[sheraqaw.livejournal.com]

Send him pics of me. He'll die laughing and you'll get your electric bill paid. HUGS.

[ysobelle.livejournal.com]

Just you hush, there.

[donnaricci.livejournal.com]

That, is fucking classic. How are you feeling by the way?

[ysobelle.livejournal.com]

My damned sore throat refuses to die the death. Sigh. I'm gonna have to call the doctor again in the morning and see what they have to say. I'm over not being over this.

[ktnboo.livejournal.com]

Even though you may be finished your z-pack, you may not feel the full effects for a few more days. It stays in your ststem and works for a bit even after you're done taking it.

[hederaivy.livejournal.com]

Oh, I do hope that you forwarded this on to the woman you suspect is the intended recipient.

sorry - random interjection

[lavender-dragon.livejournal.com]

I love the pin?/jewelry in your icon pic....its lovely!

*waves* hi ysobelle!
hope you feel better!

Re: sorry - random interjection

[hederaivy.livejournal.com]

It's a pendant. The purple and green wing stones are mystic fire topaz and the body is made up of tiny diamonds. I love it.

[deedeet06.livejournal.com]

I'd like to know what HER "suggestion" was.

[foxglove-8778.livejournal.com]

I wanna see your reply...

[foxglove-8778.livejournal.com]

or what your reply as the wrong addresse would be.... "To: Old Man. First, double check your stripper's email address."