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ysobelleI was struck a little earlier by some really unpleasant feelings. Not horrific, but...just for a brief time, I was feeling wrung out. So many friends are either in the hospital or in divorce proceedings or in simple dire straits that I just feel useless. There's so little I can give. So little I can do. And worse, all I can think is, "There's no one there to worry for me."
It was a very cold, very selfish, very self-pitying feeling. And it'll only get worse the closer I get to Christmas.
Ho ho ho.
Started back at the store today. That place I swore I'd never set foot in again. If only I didn't enjoy the work so. I sold $2,300 and change, which was a little over 10% of the store total for the day. We had about 7 people on the floor today, I believe. One of them was, for a few hours, my sister. Her selling style is much like mine, and she's very good. Mom taught us well.
It was a very cold, very selfish, very self-pitying feeling. And it'll only get worse the closer I get to Christmas.
Ho ho ho.
Started back at the store today. That place I swore I'd never set foot in again. If only I didn't enjoy the work so. I sold $2,300 and change, which was a little over 10% of the store total for the day. We had about 7 people on the floor today, I believe. One of them was, for a few hours, my sister. Her selling style is much like mine, and she's very good. Mom taught us well.
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no subject
Date: 2006-12-20 08:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-20 12:45 pm (UTC)I hate being alone and when I feel so extremely dependent I am inspired by the strong women in my life like YOU and Betsy who can manage to live alone, support yourself, and have the finer things in life because YOU worked for them, not because your husband or significant other provided them for you.
I have never been able to take care of myself....let alone have a home that no one but me was responsible for.... good grief.......I'd live off paper plates and plastic cups koz all my real dishes would need washed......eww I hate to wash dishes! laundry? oh pulease - all my clothes would be a lovely shade of pinkish gray!
You are strong and independent and you ought to be proud! The next time you feel lonely - take a road trip to Pittsburgh and we'll all show you how much you are LOVED!!! Infact......come stay a week or two huh? After the holiday? I'll make muffins!
no subject
Date: 2006-12-20 03:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-20 04:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-21 02:40 am (UTC)I'll worry for you, about you, or with you, anytime you need it.