(no subject)

[ysobelle]

Just once-- just fucking once-- I would love to wake up from a dream and not want to cry. I'd love for it not to be about people who hurt me, or things I can't change, or be some graphic scene from a horror movie with sights I don't ever want to see again. I'm tired of getting hit in the face over and over again with the one area of my life that remains dark.

The other night? I had a West-Wing-based dream, in which I, along with several other people, found myself locked in a room with a camera on the door instead of a peephole. Josh put his eye against the eyepiece to see out. With dissonant, ambient music, I was treated to a montage of shots of his skin, peeling off his face, and slowly burning away in blue from some strange radiation coming through the camera.

The one from which I woke today was far less gruesome, but more painful. There's so much I'm trying to work through. Why does it have to take so long? How many demons in my brain do I have to exorcise?

Comments

[hemitheos.livejournal.com]

This is one area to which I can totally relate. Do you wake up tired and exhausted from these dreams?

[ysobelle.livejournal.com]

Sometimes, yes. Even better, for a special added bonus, sometimes I wake up crying. Fun, fun!

Usually, however, those dreams have to do with family or my creatures dying. You?

[hemitheos.livejournal.com]

I don't think I've woke up crying. I've woke up screaming with my heart racing like a million miles a minute.

My dreams vary with the content; but the theme is always constant: gruesome. Usually people are dying in slow, painful, & odd ways. I've had people's skin dissolve in front of my face. I have had my own skin dissolve only to have it regenerate so I can experience it again. I've been tied to a chair and had little bits and pieces of my body painfully removed usually by a blunt instrument to make things slow. I've had people poisoned, burned, maimed... You name it, it's probably happened. The worse ones are when it's me that is harming someone and I am helpless to prevent it.

Those are the pretty normal ones. I also have ones that stretch my imagination and are hard for me to comprehend. Astrophysics concepts can present themselves in my dreams and take a twist to the bizarre. It's hard to explain because I don't fully understand what's going on. I just know that I have this stabbing pain in my heart as I am forced to experience whatever it is that I am experiencing.

All I know is that I haven't had a decent knights sleep in about 15 years.

[vixynne.livejournal.com]

I send you as many hugs as you can stand!

...just a thought here, have you ever tried 'active dreaming'? What I mean is, have you tried training yourself to recognize that you're dreaming, so that your dream self can put a stop to what's happening (or change it)? I have recurring nightmares, though mine are usually about water-terror. Tsunamis chase after me and wash over me, and I'm always trapped in some sort of freak air bubble that won't let me move. Or I'm in my car and it falls off a bridge into a lake. *shudder*
The thing is, now that I recognize the patterns, I can sometimes make the dream stop or change course. Worth trying if you're tormented; although whatever you're trying to slog through in your nightmares will still need to be dealt with, at least you'll be able to sleep!

[snipeyhead.livejournal.com]

I've gotten good at that too - it's helped a lot.

[snipeyhead.livejournal.com]

*HUGS* honey :(