Shudder.

[ysobelle]

Dear Universe:

Enough with the downers, okay? I just read an article in the NYT about the just-released tapes of 911 dispatchers on 9/11. It still makes me want to scream, to wail, to vomit-- not in disgust, but in remembered terror and incomprehension. No-- disgust, too: at the unbelievable loss of life, and and what all those thousands of people went through as they died.

It seems, suddenly, a very cold, very lonely night. Can I have something nice happen soon, please? You know what I mean.


Thanks,

Me

Comments

[center.livejournal.com]

don't read/watch the news. is it ever good?

[mirroreyes.livejournal.com]

i'm coming down to visit.
does that count as something nice?

Shudder

[sheraqaw.livejournal.com]

Those people that died that horrible day were taken against their will and their lives were stolen from them. I is impossible and inconcievable to imagine what it must have been like for them. For those who survived, and their families there is no comforting. Nothing will ever change this. NOTHING.
The events of that day will be remembered for all time. Those people who were lost will be remembered for all time as well. In the remembering, they will be honored in the hearts and minds of all of us.
The truth is, everybody dies alone, no matter the circumstance surrounding them at that time, or their beliefs. The hope is that there is no pain involved and the resolution is swift, without fear or anxiety.
I am in a dying business. Or, what I mean to say is, people dying is a huge part of my business. I help people to die with grace and with as much of their dignity as they have left at this stage of their life. Yes, I hold them, comfort them, medicate them, minister to their family, and hope they are as comfortable as possible. Holding a person close and whispering in their ear what they want to hear last, and hoping that they have heard it, is what I do best.
I have had people die in my arms on more than one occasion. I have heard the last heartbeat, held someone while they "bled out", I have felt what 111 degrees F feels like and I feel blessed to have been a part of it. I love what I do. I pray that when its my turn, that someone will be there to do the same for me.

Having friends and just knowing that you are not alone in the universe is pretty damn nice, don't you think? (I am here)

Re: Shudder (okay, I'm a little bitter today)

[pikachette.livejournal.com]

"Those people that died that horrible day were taken against their will and their lives were stolen from them. I is impossible and inconcievable to imagine what it must have been like for them. For those who survived, and their families there is no comforting. Nothing will ever change this. NOTHING."

Although I understand what you're saying, the same holds true for *anyone* who dies suddenly and unexpectedly. Or for someone killed in a drunk-driving accident. Or a thousand other accidental, sudden deaths.

The main difference is the scope and scale of the loss and the motivation of those who committed the crime.

Oh, and that *everyone* takes time out to remember the 9/11 victims.

5/21 means something only to a small group of people in my world. Doesn't make the loss any less painful.

I didn't get a telethon, either.

Re: Shudder (okay, I'm a little bitter today)

[ysobelle.livejournal.com]

A LITTLE bitter?

Hugs, Leah. But honestly, you and Bev are on the same page. Truly. And we all love you.

Re: Shudder (okay, I'm a little bitter today)

[pikachette.livejournal.com]

That may be, but I'm still entitled to feel the way I do.

And if I thought we were completely on the same page, I wouldn't have said anything, so those are my thoughts, too.

Re: Shudder (okay, I'm a little bitter today)

[sheraqaw.livejournal.com]

I am truly sorry for your pain and that my own comment caused you more of it.
I am against the loss of any innocent life especially when it is taken violenty, randomly and espacially when that person was doing absolutely nothing to warrant the act.
My family has lost several members who were taken needlessly and senselessly and all wil be profoundly missed.
The events of 9/11 was an atrocity toward mankind, The United States and to all of us. Probably each of us knows of a family that will be forever changed because of that day.
My cousin lives in NYC and her husband is a NYC firefighter. Rich was not on duty that terrible morning. He and Amber and their two small boys were enjoying a family outing on his day off. He was there at ground zero shortly after the event, to find that they had lost many in his house.
One last thing I wanted to say before I shut my mouth is this. When I was in high school back in the 70's one of my Civics/ History teachers made a comment regarding US safety. His remark still rings in my ears as if I heard it only yesterday. He said that it was only a matter of time before our complacent bliss would end and some group that would be pissed at the US would breach our borders, catch us off guard, and massacre large numbers of innocent people. He also went on to describe possibilities. How prophetic was THAT? (this was over 30 years ago)
Again, I want to say that I didn't mean to offend you. I only wanted to express what was on my thoughts.
By the way, I'm not sure what 5/21 means. Please tell me so that I may better understand it's significance for you. I want to learn from you.

Re: Shudder (okay, I'm a little bitter today)

[pikachette.livejournal.com]

5/21 [03] is the day my husband dropped dead of a heart attack at 41 years old. He stopped breathing and died in front of me and my two sons, who were 13 and 17 at the time. So to me, 5/21 is my personal 9/11 -- entering a hell of loss that in many ways, I will never exit.

The point I was trying to make was the only difference between 9/11 victims and people like me (who have lost a loved one, especially a spouse) suddenly and unexpectedly is the scope and scale and motivation of the event. My husband is just as dead. No one remembers except family and some friends. There is no comforting for me and my children and nothing will ever change this. NOTHING.

(and as an aside, I don't even get to have normal birthdays anymore because -- guess what? -- my birthday is September 11th!)

My younger brother was murdered in his workplace on his (well, what was supposed to be anyway) his last night there during a failed armed robbery attempt. We're the only ones who remember him, too.

I lost a friend on 9/11....spent many frantic hours freaking out about one of my dearest friends who was *supposed* to be at work in World Financial Three (but ended up running late and was still on the subway, 5 blocks away)...but no one knew what was up until hours and hours later.

If your statement "I am against the loss of any innocent life especially when it is taken violenty, randomly and espacially when that person was doing absolutely nothing to warrant the act." is true, then shouldn't you have the same outrage for people killed by drunk drivers? Or for children abducted, raped and killed? For my brother?

It's almost like we have 'levels' of 'whose deaths are more significant' than others or something. And I'm *not* trying to say that the events of 9/11 aren't tragic....but dead is dead. My loss (and the losses of many other people like me) is no less significant, no less painful.

(This isn't *personal*, btw -- it's just something I've noticed over the last few years and you just happened to coalesce it into a few neat paragraphs, that's all)

Shudder...

[imafon.livejournal.com]

Okay, okay...

Most of those among us have unfortunately experienced a loss.

They all differ in the scope and severity.

But not one single event cancels out the other.

The only difference in effect, is perception.

Pikachette, while I do not know you personally, I would like to extend to you my sincerest condolences. How you have managed to cope with your loss so far is a mystery to me. (As my husband is my very best friend, I cannot fathom my life without him.) Do remember that there are support groups, and other resources for yourself and your children. Do not hesitate to ask/cry for help, as there are always those who are willing to do so.

Bev, I absolutely understand where you were coming from on this. And your thoughts are well received. Also, as I am in the business of "dying". I value your comment that, "it is what I do best." I have been in that position. The holding of a hand, the whispering of a prayer. And hope that someone will one day return the favor.

And for the record, this is to everyone. Don't want to start any fights, but my theory is...Death can be a release. And as long as you love, and are loved...no one dies alone.

Nikki...this is an order. STOP LISTENING TO THAT CRAP! IT MESSES WITH YOUR AURA/KARMA WHATEVER YOU WANT TO CALL IT!

This is journalism at its worst. Shame on them! People have enough "invisible" scars, they should stop adding to it, allow people closure!