I wish I were someone else.
Mar. 25th, 2003 11:57 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ysobelleI do. I wish I were someone who hadn't live the last seven years quite the way I have. I gave my heart away, and locked it out. I don't have it any more and I don't know where it really is. It's not with him, no. Certainly not. It's not with me. And without it I just don't see clearly or...I don't know. I have no idea why i'm like this.
It was the first time we'd gone out to dinner in, he mused, four years. How many women has he been through since then? Good G-d. And me? I can't get away. I can't move on, and I can't go back. I'm such a stupid, stupid girl. And I know I'll rationalise tomorrow, and want to see him again, and even try to see him again. After all he's put me through, I just don't...I don't know why. Or what the fuck I was thinking.
At dinner, I caught a glimpse. He makes me laugh. I love the way he thinks. I think him so very handsome. I love his energy, the way he moves, expresses himself, his ideas and his art and his actions. I see things in him certainly no one who knows me sees-- no, no one who's seen what he's put me through sees. Now I'm frantic-- I feel like I'm beating against the bars of a cage in a panic, and I can't get out and I don't know where I'd go even if I could.
It was the first time we'd gone out to dinner in, he mused, four years. How many women has he been through since then? Good G-d. And me? I can't get away. I can't move on, and I can't go back. I'm such a stupid, stupid girl. And I know I'll rationalise tomorrow, and want to see him again, and even try to see him again. After all he's put me through, I just don't...I don't know why. Or what the fuck I was thinking.
At dinner, I caught a glimpse. He makes me laugh. I love the way he thinks. I think him so very handsome. I love his energy, the way he moves, expresses himself, his ideas and his art and his actions. I see things in him certainly no one who knows me sees-- no, no one who's seen what he's put me through sees. Now I'm frantic-- I feel like I'm beating against the bars of a cage in a panic, and I can't get out and I don't know where I'd go even if I could.