Well. Yes.

[ysobelle]

So yes, I did have a lovely night. We didn't get to the play. I told them "something's come up." We may go later-- TLiW runs til Feb. 27th. And yes, there was indeed much canoodling, and some um...er. Leave it at: we had fun. But there was also much serious, good talking. A few things that made me sad, but on the whole, more that made me peaceful. Am I 100% happy? No. Do I still feel like I'm flying? Yes. This will never be the relationship I dreamed of, which is something I still have trouble processing. I still don't know what it means. But I do know it's the relationship I want right now. This is the man I want. This is the man with whom I'm more truly intimate than with anyone else, ever. I'm honoured that that is, on some levels, reciprocated. There are other things I know I'll never have in this, but I'm not at the point where I want to look elsewhere for them. A friend of mine said to me, years ago, "I hope he's not the reason you never get married." And maybe life would be different if I'd never met him. But I've never met anyone who makes me fly like he does.

Comments

Yay Nikki!

[deathwardegg.livejournal.com]

Could this be... the first comment? I can't believe it! Uh..... I can't think of anything to say. D'oh!

Well, mmkay. A friend of mine cautioned me a while back about "being on the rebound". But then [he or she] said, "Of course, given the time frame, in your case, you could be in a rebound relationship with the person you're on the rebound from!" And honestly, it had been just about long enough (a year or two, plus or minus) for me to forget the worst things Roxanane had done, and I sort-a thought mostly good of her by then. Still do, actually!! People do, and can, change - albeit not that often, or sometimes only over larger spans of time.

On a much less ambiguously positive note, though, you say you are not "100% happy". On a scale of zero to 100 percent, how happy are you currently?
And whatever number that query returns, isn't that value larger than zero (or perhaps 45, or 50, or 55, or whatever your median happiness is? So it's a good thing!!!

But what's "canoodling"?

And why "Ow."??

Re: Yay Nikki!

[ysobelle.livejournal.com]

It's one of the old Ann Landers questions: are you happier with him than without him? And at this moment, while he often makes me incredibly frustrated, he more often makes me intoxicatingly emotionally high.

As for the other two questions, well...er...I mean, it's....never mind.

[well-artesia.livejournal.com]

Well said. I can utterly relate, and I'm happy for both of us.