One other note.

[ysobelle]

I realised in my last entry all I could say was mememe in the face of a stranger's pain. And yes, I was being selfish-- it's easier, when you don't know the other person, to put your own spin on their pain.

But part of what was so horrible about this afternoon was knowing there was nothing I could do except walk out the door and leave Robin with that poor, grieving woman, sobbing on the floor.

Comments

That's what LiveJournal IS...

[deathwardegg.livejournal.com]

Isn't that what LiveJournal is all about? "Me, me, me?" Don't beat yourself up about it - what could you have done, really? As an example, a few years ago, just before September Eleventh, I was in the huge marble halls of the central post office in my town. It's open 24 hours a day, and I stopped by there quite late to get my mail. I was reading stupid crap about my past-due electric bill or something, when I heard a gasp and sobs from down the hall. A woman was looking at some letter she'd just received. It was obviously something momentous. I thought about turning and leaving - she didn't sink down to the floor, like many I've seen - but she was in the same large 60-foot ceiling marble passageway which I was in, and I was fairly near by. I walked a few feet nearer and asked, "Are you alright?" She turned toward me and seized me as if I were a life ring in the icy waters of the North Atlantic. She stopped crying about three minutes later, looked off to my left, and ran out. I never found out what the issue was, and never saw her again. My point is that the only thing you can do for people in that situation, is just do what they want: 90% of the time, it's best to hold them. However, in that particular situation, even I would have discreetly left as well. You didn't know the crying person, and it WAS NOT YOUR ROLE to comfort her.

And selfish? Sure! But, so what? That's what grief IS.

Life = Suffering! I've been to eighteen funerals; after the first five or so, I bought a black Armani suit just to attend them with. My perspective seems odd to some, because I know people who don't know a single dead person. My wife, several lovers, many friends, and most of my family are not in existence anymore. But it all boils down to the fact that I am selfish - the reason I am sad is that I want those people to still be with me; to please, entertain, advise, or teach me. If I could fully let go of this world and its desires, I would be able to escape the wheel.

[wednesday42.livejournal.com]

Sweetie, what you wrote wasn't selfishness - it was empathy.

If you had really been all "mememe", you would have been irked at the interruption, irritated/embarrassed by the woman's outburst, and eager to be out of there and on your way.

::Sending you a big {{{hug}}} now and thinking happy thoughts for your folks.::