ysobelle | Stage 1 - Noirmoutier-en-l’Île to Fontenay-le-Comte, 201km (Reply)

Colombia’s Fernando Gaviria crosses the finish line. Photograph: Peter Dejong/AP

Stage 1 - Noirmoutier-en-l’Île to Fontenay-le-Comte, 201km

Okay, yes, I turned on the opening stage a little late. I’ll have to catch the replay of the Grand Depart later. BUT HOLY JESUS!

We are…I don’t even know. The day has gone pretty much like any normal comparatively flat stage, with a breakaway of three riders, Kevin Ledanois, Jerome Cousin and Yoann Offredo, out in front from the go. (Ledanois dropped back 22km from the end of the stage, and Cousin and Offered were caught not much later.)

But now? A few miles from the end, and it’s fucking CHAOS. It was supposed to be an innocuous first day, and there are just crashes now everywhere, the peloton is split, Nairo Quintana has just had TWO flats and the Mavic car is desperately trying to fix him, and Chris fucking Froome went ass over teakettle off the side of the road into the grass. The final 10K is where the road narrows, and it’s taking a toll.

Hi. How’s your day?

We’re inside 1km, and the setup for the final sprint is totally shaken up. Where’s Cav? There’s Sagan, so my money’s on him, but— well, no! At the last second, and with a perfect lead-out, Fernando Gaviria, a 23 year old Colombian from Quick Step takes the stage, with Sagan right off his back wheel!

Froome has lost 61 seconds already— not much to worry about at this point, but wow. Not how anyone saw this going. Okay, Bob Roll saw Gaviria winning, but that’s Bob Roll. He’s not mortal. Peter Sagan has second, Marcel Kittel third.

Aw, man. There are podium girls. Why are there podium girls? Didn’t we all have this conversation? But Gaviria isn’t paying attention to that: he’s in his first-ever Tour, and he’s getting his first-ever Maillot Jaune— the second-ever for a Colombian.

So. 176 riders took off this morning (teams have eight riders now, instead of nine). The one doubtful for tomorrow is Lawson Craddock, who had a crash which opened a cut on his left eyebrow that sent a red fountain all the way down to his jaw— not surprising for a head wound in someone whose heart is pumping as hard as his is. He did cross the finish line, but was riding favoring one shoulder. I hope he makes it, poor soul.

I’ll watch the whole thing this evening, of course, but maaaaan. What a hectic finish to an incredible start.