Sigh.

[ysobelle]

I'm not even sure why this annoys me. Well, for the moment, it does. In about ten minutes, I'm guessing, I won't care.

I assure you, I did actually use apostrophes. They just didn't come out here. And as you can, no doubt, surmise, he did not.


(6:03:01 pm)jerzeyguy26:hey

(6:04:35 pm)jerzeyguy26:ok ignore me

(6:06:35 pm)KahluaB:Actually, I was on another screen, and didnt see you.

(6:06:46 pm)jerzeyguy26:oh ok lol

(6:06:46 pm)jerzeyguy26:sorry

(6:06:52 pm)KahluaB:Mm.

(6:06:56 pm)jerzeyguy26:u like younger men?

(6:07:23 pm)KahluaB:As people, of course. As dates, that never works well for me.

(6:07:35 pm)jerzeyguy26:well u should atleast give me a chance after we talk a while

(6:08:33 pm)KahluaB:Im sure youre a delightful soul. Its just one of my hard-learned things.

(6:08:48 pm)jerzeyguy26:u find me attractive?

(6:09:32 pm)KahluaB:Yes, dear.

(6:09:40 pm)jerzeyguy26:u look pretty good too

(6:09:42 pm)jerzeyguy26:how long u been single

(6:11:06 pm)KahluaB:Oh, a while.

(6:11:36 pm)jerzeyguy26:me too

(6:11:42 pm)jerzeyguy26:so u make corsets for a living?

(6:12:14 pm)KahluaB:I do. And costumes and wedding gowns.

(6:12:20 pm)jerzeyguy26:cool

(6:12:23 pm)jerzeyguy26:do u wear corsets?

(6:13:05 pm)KahluaB:Yes. Otherwise, how would I make good ones?

(6:13:15 pm)jerzeyguy26:haha dunno lol

(6:13:19 pm)jerzeyguy26:do u wear thongs?

(6:14:03 pm)KahluaB:Thats a little personal.

(6:14:17 pm)jerzeyguy26:dont be shy i mean come on now u design lingerie for living lol

(6:14:34 pm)KahluaB:Actually, my corsets are designed for outerwear.

(6:14:48 pm)jerzeyguy26:who wears them for outerwear lol

(6:14:49 pm)KahluaB:Theyre not lingerie-- theyre made with steel.

(6:14:51 pm)jerzeyguy26:never seen that before

(6:15:02 pm)KahluaB:Googles your friend.

(6:15:10 pm)jerzeyguy26:huh???

(6:15:29 pm)KahluaB:Google steel-boned corsets. Lots of sites out there, including mine.

(6:16:16 pm)jerzeyguy26:cool

(6:16:18 pm)jerzeyguy26:so u wear thongs or not

(6:16:31 pm)KahluaB:Sigh.

(6:16:41 pm)jerzeyguy26:oh just tell me dont be all shy lol

(6:17:01 pm)KahluaB:Its not a matter of being shy. Its a matter of, hey, thats none of your business.

(6:17:19 pm)jerzeyguy26:wow ok

(6:17:28 pm)jerzeyguy26:i could of rocked your world like never before too your loss

(6:17:30 pm)KahluaB:I tried subtle.

(6:17:43 pm)KahluaB:Sorry.

(6:17:57 pm)jerzeyguy26:u prolly masturbate like crazy

(6:18:01 pm)KahluaB:And no, I really dont think we would have suited at all.

(6:18:17 pm)KahluaB:Well, there pretty much proves my point.

Comments

[center.livejournal.com]

u r so h0t

u make me want to h0t chat wit choo

i IM u naw u game?

OK?

u webcam?

[ysobelle.livejournal.com]

AUGH!!!! *gouges her own eyes*

[scarletwildfire.livejournal.com]

OMFG.... I have a line at the top of my profile now that says: One of my beliefs: If you don't bother to take time to read my profile, I won't bother to answer your "u r purty" statement.

It's worked well. :) I don't get nearly as many hits, but at least the ones I do get are the better end of the gene pool.

[ysobelle.livejournal.com]

Oh! I need to steal that!

[autumnyte.livejournal.com]

Bless.

You are FAR nicer and way more patient than I would have been. After "do u wear thongs" I'd probably have just hit "ignore".

[titaniumjunky.livejournal.com]

Well he was advertising that he was from Jerzey with a "Z" that's got to be _way_ worse than regular Jersey. oh dear lord.. there are 25 more of him...

[ysobelle.livejournal.com]

oh dear lord.. there are 25 more of him...


BWAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!!!

[ysobelle.livejournal.com]

I was so tempted. But I was feeling magnanimous. At first. After that? Not so much.

[greenman-nick.livejournal.com]

That was very amuzing at the end of the day, thanks for sharing it lol.....

[ravenskye8.livejournal.com]

*tries in vain to hold back laughter*
*doesn't work*
*gigglefit*

Oh dear gods... I'm so sorry that this is beyond the "kiss a lot of frogs" concept...

But, damn... How old was he - eighteen?

I'd put on my profile - if you can't speak English properly, I'm not interested... sheesh!

[ysobelle.livejournal.com]

I live to serve!

[ysobelle.livejournal.com]

Oh, Christ, my profile says that explicitly-- twice! And still they ignore it!

[scarletwildfire.livejournal.com]

go for it woman!

[center.livejournal.com]

u R purty!

me red ur profeel!

me like

books, camping, ecology, environment, equality for all, fetish, fire, intelligence, internet, goth, sci-fi, silver, skimpy outfits, thrift stores, warehouses

n much more TOOZ!

me been to brushwood,

will u be

im'ing,

gettin' nekked,

n having

sex,

wit me?

me fan of

sarcasm, TOO

cud u tell, or will u just be takin'

knives,

to mee? :(

[ravenskye8.livejournal.com]

Holy crap...

Yeah - steal scarletwildfire's line about reading your profile...

Perhaps add an extra line about being sure to do enough requisite research to be able to understand it, as well...

*facepalm*

[scarletwildfire.livejournal.com]

Oh jesus... and just as soon as I told you that I ended up with an email from a 57 year old crowing about Over The Rhine and how they are a "Mennonite Rock and Roll Band".

*sigh*

smarter, yes.... still not my type.

[ysobelle.livejournal.com]

Holy fuck-- did you BITCHSLAP him???

[ysobelle.livejournal.com]

BEAT YOU WITH A HAMMER!

[scarletwildfire.livejournal.com]

lmao.... OMG LJ stalker!!!!

Run for your lives!

Bang, bang.
U ded nau, kai.

[scarletwildfire.livejournal.com]

I think I've decided not to respond to that one either.... I can't even imagine getting it on with a wrinkled man - let alone any of the rest of that.

[ysobelle.livejournal.com]

"I'm sorry, but anyone who calls Karin and Linford Mennonites is not someone with whom I see a rich and rewarding future. Thanks for writing. Best of luck."

[center.livejournal.com]

o no. :'(

[kaige-of-ct.livejournal.com]

Reason 1271811982 I gave up online dating. He'll fall in my damn lap or I'll be single forever! But I refuse to online date anymore!

Ptooey!!

>:(

[scarletwildfire.livejournal.com]

you are far nicer then I am...

[ysobelle.livejournal.com]

That's only cos I left off the coda: "You amazingly stupid, unobservant, revisionist twit."

[ysobelle.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but I never get out, so that's difficult. It's not perfect, but it's something. Sometimes.


Even if that "something" is only a horrible warning to my friends.

[elionwyr.livejournal.com]

Ha! Oh, you poor dear..

My OK Cupid profile gets little traffic. I credit that in part to the following snippets:

My Self-Summary
Squirrelly lady with piratical leanings, question-asking tendencies and a hearse looking to expand my social circle.

The quickest way to my heart is through my brain. Zombies, however, need not respond to this ad, as I'm on to your evil plans and I'm ready for the zombie apocalypse!

..Ahem. Anyway, a love for books is more better than a love for motorcycles or Nascar. A love for hearses and/or an intelligent argument for why hearses belong in Nascar, however? Let's talk.

The most private thing I’m willing to admit here
I'm, um, kinda a geek. With really small feet.

(Which is not to say I'm, like, a sideshow geek with really small feet. Because I saw that episode of "X-Files" and it creeped me right the heck out.)

(Um. Not that I recall his feet. I was too focused on trying to not watch what he was eating.)

(Ew.)
You should message me if
Heh! You should message me because I am far from boring.

I am likely to message you back if you read books, if you are not a zombie, and if loud laughter does not embarrass you.

[ysobelle.livejournal.com]

You know, of course, that that's the only episode of X-Files I've ever seen.

I adore you.

[elionwyr.livejournal.com]

EW EW EW EW EW!!!

And hee!
I figure that if anyone can get through that and have an actual interest? We should talk.

It happens very seldom and hasn't resulted in any dates. But then, when I wasn't quite this warped, I was getting a lot of, "Hey, you're cute - wanna go ride my Harley with me?"

Yeesh.

[blkstarsapphire.livejournal.com]

Ok, that guy = major jerk based on the conversation...

He needs to get a major clue...

*goes off to find clue-by-4 to hit him with repeatedly*