Schadenfreude, sweet, delicious schadenfreude.

[ysobelle]

As I've told some of you, we had an outrageously, defiantly, proudly and arrogantly ignorant girl at work. She told me she didn't watch the news, or read the papers. She neither knew nor cared the stock market-- and the world's economy-- had crashed.

"You know this affects you, right?" I asked, somewhat incredulous.

"Well, I knew they went down, but I thought, I don't know, they'd gone back up or something."

One evening, when a very nice Alaskan customer asked what kind of a city Philadelphia was to live in, she all but went into convulsions. "It's dangerous!"

I just stared. "I leave in freakin' Eastwick. What the hell are you talking about?"

"Philadelphia is the murder capital of the country!"

"No, really, it's not."

"Yes it IS!" she insisted.

"Z, it's not. I assure you."

"IT is! It's the murder capital of the US!"

The customer, by this time, was backing away slowly. I, in turn, was getting more and more annoyed by the second.

"It's not."

"It is!"

"Z, you don't read the newspapers or watch the news. How would you know?"

"I just know it! It is!"

"How would you know?"

"Then what is?"

"Either DC or Detroit. But it's not Philadelphia."

"I know it is."

"You've never watched a news show in your life."

"Ha! How do YOU know?"

"Because you told me so."

"Well...that was before I turned my life around and gave my life to G-d."

Obviously, G-d doesn't get CNN in her world.

By now severely annoyed, I opened up the store's browser, and hit Google. I looked up murder rates. It showed I was correct. She refused to believe me, because the stats were from 2004. Ready to snap, I looked up the most recent rates. I had to carefully explain to her that the 2007 stats were the latest available, since 2008 wasn't actually over yet. She did see one Google hit that said "Philadelphia's Murder Rate highest in 30 years." Right below that, it said highest in 20 years. She latched on for dear life, completely misunderstanding the quote, and insisted she was right. I almost hit her. I finally found a list. Philadelphia was number eight. Eight. Her response?

"Well...I don't see why you gotta be so mad about it."


Today, a customer came in and returned a pair of cufflinks she had bought from Z the night before. She explained that she wouldn't, on this trip, be seeing the person for whom she'd bought them, so no longer needed them. My district manager was there, looked at the receipt, and saw that it was a void receipt: no SKU, no total, no method of payment. The customer said she'd paid in cash. The sale had never been rung in, nor had the cash shown up in the register records.

Z came in at 2. When the DM confronted her, she had no decent explanation. She immediately offered to give the DM money if necessary. She even knew the correct amount.

She was out the door again, sans store key and airport badge, at 2.30.

Somehow, I will not miss her.

Comments

[hederaivy.livejournal.com]

Instant Karma

[patsytheloomer.livejournal.com]

On title: there's a Farker that has "Schadenfreude is the best freude." (in German) as their username.
Also, {insert Avenue Q lyrics here}

On topic: why do I get the impression that this person's typical speech pattern is the grammatical equivalent of putting your hand in the garbage disposal...

[mirroreyes.livejournal.com]

honey, i wouldnt miss her either!
ugh! what a pain to work with.

[hughcasey.livejournal.com]

Since she doesn't follow the news, she didn't know that thieves GET CAUGHT!

[dogmomma.livejournal.com]

I guess she was a thief before she found God. I love it.

[kaige-of-ct.livejournal.com]

Good lord..

[ladylinder.livejournal.com]

G-d should be so proud of his idiot minions that make him/it look so AWESOME.

[kylecassidy.livejournal.com]

i was talking to another photographer from a dangerous city saying we should do something together along the lines of echoes of life and was a bit surprised to discover philly not even in the top ten for most dangerous cities (the stats i found put us at #12).


show her the inky's murder map though. if you don't go to very specific places, it's very safe.

[ysobelle.livejournal.com]

I wish it had been a little more instant, honestly. I dreaded working with the twit.

[ysobelle.livejournal.com]

Yeah. She wasn't that bad, but her voice and attitude were just incredibly grating.

[ysobelle.livejournal.com]

Annoying. As. Fuck. Just...sneaky. Moreso than even I'd thought, apparently!

[ysobelle.livejournal.com]

She also has problems with logic, apparently. Oh, and a HUGE entitlement issue. And she's completely spoiled.

[ysobelle.livejournal.com]

I think she may have already lost Him/Her. She doesn't seem to keep track of things well.

[ysobelle.livejournal.com]

Mmhm. Well, this saves me from having to wring her neck, at least.

[ladylyonesse.livejournal.com]

By the way, if DC isn't number one, it's damn close...but I feel safe living nearby and working here. You know, in case giving your life to ~insert chosen divinity here~ doesn't make you bullet-proof, girlfriend may want to avoid the thievery.

Lovely little karma right there.

[ysobelle.livejournal.com]

I know! Isn't that someone you'd just LOVE to have on your team, were you a holy deity?

Not saying you're not, of course. Rowr.

[ysobelle.livejournal.com]

I'm not going to be showing this flaming twit ANYTHING. Except, perhaps, my delicious glee at Karmic Retribution-- should I ever have to see her again.

I can't now find the stats I must've seen. I was surprised as hell to find St. Louis is such a high-ranker, though. Though I guess with all those vampires....

Are you gonna do the project? I said ages ago it should have been a book.

[ysobelle.livejournal.com]

It seems to go back and forth between y'all and Detroit. Woot for that, right? (With some St. Louis thrown in, apparently.)

And yes-- I'm darkly gleeful.

[fiannaharpar.livejournal.com]

*dies laughing*

[scarletwildfire.livejournal.com]

Mmm for some reason I always thought Charlotte ranked near the top, too. Maybe I got it from a book or something.

:O - oh dear lord - I said book! Run for your lives - the citizens can't *read!* They should know - nothing.... nothing I tell you - like her! (*points to twit*)


(I'll miss you at the OTR shows.... *sniff* I sooo wish you would come.)

[mermaid2003.livejournal.com]

Well,she'll be finding out about the economy now, won't she? I so love karma.

[regalpewter.livejournal.com]

Well when she gave her life to G_d, she should've read the part where he states that he really ain't keen on theft.
Though she still gets to vote.
and breed.
YIS,
WRI

[mortie12.livejournal.com]

Bwahahahahahahaaaa!

I'm sorry you had to put up with that moron for even two days, Yso... I've been working with some other complete idjits that only continue to have jobs because it's so close to Christmas and BossLady can't find anyone else to work on such short notice.

Glad she's gone, too. Hopefully you'll get someone cool to replace her.

[ysobelle.livejournal.com]

I know. I so, so wish I could. But the money, and the time just aren't there. Especially now we're so short-staffed.

Dammit.

[ysobelle.livejournal.com]

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHHAAAAAA!!!

That's perfect! And true!

[ysobelle.livejournal.com]

I think she only voted cos Obama was cool and black, and all her friends were doing it. I doubt she'd even know when an election was, otherwise.

[ysobelle.livejournal.com]

Yeah. I think if it'd been any less blatant, she might not have been fired. But this? Yeah. Not so much.

Perfect icon, too!