Am I just being pissy?

[ysobelle]

Bill and I, via Neil, sent an inquiry to a show in March to see if there's space available. Neil received this somewhat terse response:


"I think we are full this year … but I will put you on the “waiting list” as the vendors we have extended invitations to have some time still to accept. Also please let me know when your other website is active. It appears you only have two basic corset models … which are very nice … but you don’t have a great depth to your product line yet."



That was it. Oh, he did sign his name. (The "other site," btw, is Bill's, which is in the process of going live.)

I'm a little...annoyed. Am I being too sensitive?

Comments

[transversecity.livejournal.com]

Sounds like a jerk to me.

[ysobelle.livejournal.com]

My, ahem, knee-jerk reaction is, "I'm sorry, I'm asking if you have space. I didn't ask for a referendum on my business, thank you."

[donnaricci.livejournal.com]

I think you're taking it personally. I would too if say, it were my clothign line because I would feel as if this person were attempting to make me feel inadequate because I haven't made more corsets. This would be fueled by my frustration and guilt over not having enough time, energy, money, etc to put into making more corsets.

So in short, the response wasn't bad or rude, but I could see how you took it personally. I don't think it was intended to be though. Just my .02

[transversecity.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't say that's inappropriate. I mean, whatever this event is, they obviously feel that they have "high standards" for their vendors. I mean, they invite vendors? And hold spaces until they see if those vendors come? Hoity-toity!

If you really want to get on their good side, then, yeah, you know, play nice. But I don't personally think it would be inappropriate to respond to their criticism with criticism.

[ysobelle.livejournal.com]

No, I wouldn't actually send that! I still want to see if I get into the show. And if I do, they can shove their snobbery right up their...okay, never mind.

I always try to play nice. At first. Until I can't.

[ysobelle.livejournal.com]

It's just that that's the sort of thing I can imagine saying to an amateur-- which I'm not. I'm doing rather well, you know? I mean, I may have taken the plunge to full-time a year and a half ago, but I've been making these corsets for about twelve years now. The corset is the basic framework-- it's what I do with it that's creative. And I'll branch out later, yeah, but not because I can't get into shows otherwise.

Sigh. I just thought it somewhat snotty-- whether he meant it or not.

[theresa-grant.livejournal.com]

On the other hand, it's not a "no". The reason given (space not available) is valid, you're on a list (in case space does become available) and they're interested enough in your product line that they mention what they perceive as a limitation of your talent.

They could have said "No, you're not diverse enough for us" instead of "we don't have the space, you're on our list, and do you have more you can show to us?"

Attract the positive, hon. Don't look for a negative. The negative has too much power, especially if you give it permission to rule you. :)

[surlywench.livejournal.com]

I'd have let him know just how out of *his* "depth" he was with that comment. Is he serious? Don't do the show. Tell him it's because of his screamin LACK OF TACT. asshole.

yeah, you have a 3 lacing and a 5 lacing. they sell for $400 a pop and they're HAND FUCKING MADE. so while you don't have zomg 900 products, you have two. and they're EXCELLENTLY done. FUCK OFF YOU NOOB ASS.

srsly.

i can slash tirez now, plz?

[surlywench.livejournal.com]

and the two corsets you have are *anything* but "basic". Perhaps it doesn't translate well on his little screen.

[ysobelle.livejournal.com]

Fuck. I love you.

Come down here so I can give you money and make you lunch.

[ysobelle.livejournal.com]

Maybe that's it. Who knows?

[ysobelle.livejournal.com]

Oh, it's not at all the "We don't currently have room." That's perfectly valid-- we ARE coming a bit late to the party, having only made this decision Sunday.

It's the rather tactless "Oh, is THAT all you have?" he tacked on. I know full well I'm good enough to get into this show and do well there. This is the first time anyone's EVER implied otherwise. I'm miffed, but not distraught. I had people saying such incredibly lovely things about my work this past weekend it'd take a LOT more than this to bring me down. I got all kinds of warm fuzzies. I'm incredibly lucky.

[kaige-of-ct.livejournal.com]

It's cold, but I don't think he was trying to be rude. He just wasn't being friendly either.

[surlywench.livejournal.com]

fine! pay me! feed me! WE'LL JUST DO EVERYTHING YOU WANT TO DO, MISSY!!!!

oh..wait..uhrmm...i...


why that sounds lovely..thank you...

[optimistprime.livejournal.com]

Seems to me that it's better to have two kick-ass models that are made well and can be 100% customized for the customer, than to have a plethora of crap... but that's just me! :)

[snugglyevil.livejournal.com]

Yes, you only market 2 variations of a corset but that isnt really his place to critique you on it. If this guy was a close friend or a money paying client that said you should consider a broader product base, fine. A simple "sorry we are more than likely full but are waiting for final numbers" would have sufficed...the end bit did come off a bit pompous.

*hugs*

[silverstah.livejournal.com]

He was rude and tactless, but you may also be taking it a smidge personally. Knowing you, and knowing your product line, I know that each of your corsets are beautiful and unique - and you have a great presentation at shows and events. I went and peeked at your website, and I can see how that may not translate 100% to someone who doesn't know your product line as well as those of us who are fans.

Perhaps including photos on your website of your booth and show setups? SO much of what you do is in the artistry of choosing fabrics and colors - you have such an amazing eye. :) I think if you had photos of your booth setup, showing the variety of corsets you offer when you vend, it might alleviate his misguided impression.

Trust me, I know, it SUCKS when someone says something negative about your art. You're great at what you do, though - don't let one tactless booger get you down. :)

[donnaricci.livejournal.com]

Well unfortunately, this person may not have our knowledge of your work and been following you for as long as many of us have and may very well think that you are an amateur, hoping to dissuade you from pressing the topic further because he may feel you can't "swim with the big kids yet". If this event is getting that full, he probably wants to reserve what last tables he has for "big hitters" not realizing you are one of the very people he should be trying to draw in. I think it was a lazy statement at best. Sure I could look at a site with two items and go "yeah, wow, not a full body of work yet", but that would be a silly statement to make based on a site which are always in change.

So in short, I don't think his reply was rude, but it is kinda rude to YOU, because you know you are not what he is sorta accusing you of being.

[ysobelle.livejournal.com]

That's it. That's it exactly. It wasn't rude in and of itself, it was presumptuous. I'm sure he meant well.

Which reminds me, though-- any luck with the photos? I'm determined to update my galleries, now. I'm splitting them into new groups: basic, patterned, embroidered, and one-of-a-kind. You know where Rapunzel goes.

[ysobelle.livejournal.com]

You're spot-on with the photos of my set-up. I need to have some good ones purpose-taken, now.

And you're so cool. Thanks you.

[ysobelle.livejournal.com]

Yeah. Snrlgrl....rrr. But it'll allll work out in the end. Right?

[ysobelle.livejournal.com]

Heh. Yeah, that conversation made the rounds last night, trust me.

Thanks.

[ysobelle.livejournal.com]

No, not rude. Just presumptuous. And a good reason to update my site galleries!

[snugglyevil.livejournal.com]

It will, Hon. Maybe you do need to consider broadening garb horizons but that is ultimately up to you. Your corsets are wonderful and this guy has decided to go with "safe money makers" instead of someone new.

side note...we gotta get together to do that mock bustle skirt. heehee Once I am done with this ick. No need to infect you. bleh.

[hennabee.livejournal.com]

I would respond with something like "I have been perfecting my craft over a decade and offer only two models currently so that when a customer comes to me I can personalize it for them 100%. In that fashion, I can provide a much more in-depth and satisfying customer experience than an individual who will have many off-the-rack items available for sale. Corsets are an art form, and I am always striving to express that with each one I turn out.

Also, thank you for the information concerning the wait list. But I still think you're a pompous blowhard prick."

Okay...don't do that last line, but you get the drift. If you're gonna zing back, Professional the HELL out of him. And be nice. Suffocate him in sugar. People get twinges of guilt when you do that. :D