![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ysobelleWhen my grandmother died years ago, my Mom, her daughter, didn't break down until the funeral director called and asked if she wanted a shomer. We had seen my grandmother's death coming a long way off-- years, in fact-- but the grief was made much sharper in that one minute.
In Jewish tradition, someone stays with the body from the time of death to the time of burial. The burial is supposed to take place no more than 24 hours after the night of the death, which is partly because Jews don't traditionally embalm bodies, but partly because it's considered disrespectful to leave someone's body here when their soul has already gone to G-d.
To alleviate that spiritual breach, then, we have something called a shomer, or watcher. Again traditionally, shomrim (the plural) are members of the family or friends. But nowadays, it's usually someone form the local burial society or the funeral home. The shomer sits with the body until the funeral-- sitting shmira, as we say-- and recites prayers. Yes, I know, it sounds kind of creepy to imagine someone sitting alone with a dead body for hours on end. But I can't tell you how comforting it was to us, just knowing someone was there with Mother (as we all called my grandmother), watching over her. (Read this, it'll explain better: http://www.jewish-funerals.org/wtcshmira.htm)
I don't know what decisions Brian has made now for Leah, and if there's someone sitting shmira for her, reciting the psalms endlessly through the night. Maybe even singing them to her in the dark. But it occurs to me, as we all send emails and IMs, call each other, cry to each other, remember, rant, and sometimes even rage, that we are all sitting shmira for Leah. We are all doing her honour in our way.
And that, too, is comforting.
In Jewish tradition, someone stays with the body from the time of death to the time of burial. The burial is supposed to take place no more than 24 hours after the night of the death, which is partly because Jews don't traditionally embalm bodies, but partly because it's considered disrespectful to leave someone's body here when their soul has already gone to G-d.
To alleviate that spiritual breach, then, we have something called a shomer, or watcher. Again traditionally, shomrim (the plural) are members of the family or friends. But nowadays, it's usually someone form the local burial society or the funeral home. The shomer sits with the body until the funeral-- sitting shmira, as we say-- and recites prayers. Yes, I know, it sounds kind of creepy to imagine someone sitting alone with a dead body for hours on end. But I can't tell you how comforting it was to us, just knowing someone was there with Mother (as we all called my grandmother), watching over her. (Read this, it'll explain better: http://www.jewish-funerals.org/wtcshmira.htm)
I don't know what decisions Brian has made now for Leah, and if there's someone sitting shmira for her, reciting the psalms endlessly through the night. Maybe even singing them to her in the dark. But it occurs to me, as we all send emails and IMs, call each other, cry to each other, remember, rant, and sometimes even rage, that we are all sitting shmira for Leah. We are all doing her honour in our way.
And that, too, is comforting.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2007-01-17 08:50 am (UTC)(((((HUGS)))))
Why do the good ones always have to leave early?
Who made *that* rule?
seriously.
no subject
Date: 2007-01-17 12:08 pm (UTC)For someone in my situation, who knew Leah primarily through her posts on the boards--and wasn't she the kind who could reach right through your monitor and grab you by the collar, either to hug you or shake you till your silly teeth rattled--my opportunity to mourn her passing in a social way is limited. Until you factor in this pixellated world, anyway.
We are, without a doubt, honoring a woman we knew, loved and will miss, every time we IM or post about her. I wish I could do more; I wish I could be at her funeral to pay my respects and offer my condolences to her boys...I can't, so my posts and IMs try to bridge that gap.
Thank you for explaining about shmira. What a wonderful tradition for a sad time.
(((hugs)))
no subject
Date: 2007-01-17 04:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-17 10:09 pm (UTC)It reminds me of some of the reasons behind and Irish Wake. Understandably, the Shmira is more quiet and is more g-d focused.. but there are some similarities.
also.. HUGS for you..
you knew Leah much more than many on the wench boards.. i know you are suffering a serious loss.. and my thoughts and prayers are with the RL Friends, wenches and family members.
no subject
Date: 2007-01-18 12:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-18 02:21 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-19 09:13 pm (UTC)You posting was eloquently written. And I believe that you are much more adept at grieving than you realize.
Remember luv, that grief is not always about shedding tears...but celebrating a life well lived and well loved.