I have this vision.

[ysobelle]

I'm down by the river, among the rocks, beating and washing. But it's not linens and shirts, it's my heart, and I'm trying to get the blood out of it.

Some days I feel wonderful, but sometimes...I feel like I'm out of control. I honestly don't know if I'm excited by or scared to death of myself. Am I drowning, or just waving?

It's Spring inside of me, and I don't know whether storms or clear breezes are coming. It's the time of year I feel Patrick around me, and my feelings about him are almost as mixed now as they were seventeen years ago. Seventeen years. I always dwell most on the questions I'll never get to answer. It's never the simple ones that affect me, it's the avalanche of "what-ifs" that I seem to rack up deeper and deeper every year. There are so many things I wish I could have done differently, so many people I wish I could talk to just once more, or differently, or still. Sometimes, I feel it's a great cosmic joke: I style myself a Goth, so G-d has littered my path with drama and death.

I know I'll feel better in the morning, but it's not always about what I'm like when I feel fine. This is just as much me: the fevered, half-frantic Catherine, battering against the windows, calling for her Heathcliff, only to torture and throw down the things she most wants.

Or just things she wants at the time.




Melissa Etheridge

Breathe


I played the fool today.
And I just dream of vanishing into the crowd.
Longing for home again.
But home is a feeling I buried in you.

I'm all right, I'm all right.
It only hurts when I breathe.

And I can't ask for things to be still again.
No I can't ask if I could walk through the world in your eyes.
Longing for home again.
But home is a feeling I buried in you.

I'm all right, I'm all right.
It only hurts when I breathe.
I'm all right, I'm all right.
It only hurts when I breathe.

My window through which nothing hides.
And everything sings.
I'm counting the signs.
And cursing the miles in between.

And home is a feeling I buried you.
That I buried in you.

I'm all right, I'm all right.
It only hurts when I breathe.
I'm all right, I'm all right.
It only hurts when I breathe.
When I breathe.
Yeah, it only hurts when I breathe.
When I breathe.
Oh, it only hurts when I breathe.